Loving @luckyorangepant as a mum of 2 and on my own…Feeling the responsibility today #FridayFeeling I am the keeper…

Every now and then I read an article and it hits my heart hard, she read my mind, she knows how I feel and I really am not alone in my thoughts…                  @ Facebook

I am the keeper

I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments.

Sam: I hate cooking dinner #Fact

I am the keeper of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a meltdown occurs and who needs space when he gets angry. Whether there are clean clothes, whether bills are paid, and whether we are out of milk.

Sam: Meltdowns and anger – learning how to cope…

I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets.

Sam: The heartache of anxiety @ www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety

I am the keeper of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nightly rituals and food aversions.

I am the keeper of reminders. To be kind, to pick up their trash, to do their dishes, to do their homework, to hold open doors and write thank you notes.

Sam: My 2 boys need to be rewarded for everything, but then again so do most men!

I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters.

I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.

Sam: Every day but we will get there! When you read others feel the same you realise that you are not alone…

I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.

I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own.

I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard. Most of the time, the weight of these things I keep resembles the upper elements on the periodic table – lighter than air, buoying me with a sense of purpose. It’s what I signed up for. It’s the one thing I am really good at.

Sam: some days I really do not feel like I am good at this…I wing it a lot and I want to be perfect at everything but right now work takes up a huge amount of my time 

But sometimes the weight of these things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath.

because these things I keep are constantly flickering in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They scatter my thoughts and keep me awake long past my bedtime.

Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer-reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted.

To all of you who are keepers, I see you.

Sam: Thank you Lucky Orange Pants

I know the weight of the things you keep. I know the invisible work you do—which doesn’t come with a pay check or sick leave—is what makes the world go round.

I see you. And I salute you!

#LoveHard

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